Sacall Mohnaay, a Journal
by LifetimeTwilightLov
Summary: A story of a Woman named Sacall Mohnaay. there is a small part about her Master Elsar Katarn


A true story of a, sith named Sacall Mohnaay, me, and her master Elsar Katarn, as my life as a Sith.

There is only able to be two Sith at a time because of all the fighting between the other Sith. I was selected by my Master, Elsar Katarn, the, greatest Sith ever. I was glad to be his apprentice, but there was so many things that he did not give me, I try to be the apprentice that he wants, but often I fail. Master Elsar expects so much of me, to much I think, sometimes the missions he gives me are difficult, but the mission that changed the way I thought about the Jedi was the most strange. All my life I had been taught to hate the Jedi, to kill them, to hate them with all I had in me, but by hating them I found what I lacked in my Sith training.

I had been on many missions to discover or find thing, but thins mission was the most difficult ever. There, was only one way to please my Master, if I did anything wrong there would be disappointment causing our relationship to slip. If I did not complete me mission or did not get the right information, then I would never forgive myself. I kept on the right side of my Master most of the time, but it began getting harder once I found out more about the Jedi. It seemed that the Jedi was more of what I was searching for, something that could fulfill my longing for the fulfillment of my empty heart. I was longing for someone to love, and some one to love me. I did not find much of that in my Master.

It was the mission that changed my life forever. I was in my exercise room practicing my lightsaber skills, when my Master came in. He was in a way grinning if you can grin when you're the best Sith ever, but he was, he was grinning. I was almost scared that he had done something cruel. He finally decided to speak, he told me that he had a mission for me, and that there would be no failure during this mission, it was the mission that would show the Jedi how powerful the Sith are. I was very surprised Master Elsar had never given me any mission that was this important to him. I knew that if I failed I would never live to see the sun again.

He said that we were going to start killing individual Jedi. Most of the time he would send me to kill a hundred Jedi at a time, but e said that we will not reveal that it is the, Sith attacking.

I was amazed that he would trust me with this mission. I was to go into the Temple and find one individual Jedi to kill, once I completed that, I could go from there and keep doing the same thing, until my Master called me back.

As my Master said I went to the Temple and I started trying to get 1 Jedi alone to kill him, my Master had told me that the most important to kill is a Jedi Master named Luke Skywalker. When I found Luke he was not alone, so I waited and waited, until I found him alone, but by then I realized how wise he was, I was charmed at he wisdom.

I had caught him alone, but I did not know if I could attack. I had found that I had found that the Jedi fulfilled more of my longing than the Sith.

I jumped from my hiding place; I was amazed to see that Luke already had his lightsaber drawn. I drew my own and began walking toward him. It was hard to be the description of the true sith the Master Elsar had described. I never knew how that I was going to be this Sith that my Master so wanted me to be.

In a way I felt that I could not fight him, that his wisdom over-ruled mine. I thought that I was not able to win, yet here is the lesson that my Master says is my downfall, doubt is the road to your downfall. I was sure that I could not kill this man, while this man was teaching. I learned that the Jedi are good people. I was afraid of my Master's anger, but I did not think that I could kill this man.

I attacked out of fear of my Master's anger, hat was all, I did not want to fight this man. I attacked with all my training all the lessons my Master had ever taught me. I was ready to give the killing bow, but I had made the mistake, to look into the opponent's eyes. I looked into Luke's eyes and I saw fear, the most fear I had ever seen in anyone, this brought out the fear inside me, I was afraid to kill him.

I let this Jedi go. I deactivated my lightsaber and held out a hand for Luke. I had never shown mercy in any way before. I had no idea what it felt like to give. There was a strange look on Luke's face. I guess he had never met a Sith, that would show mercy to a Jedi, but I did, I had no choice, my heart makes the final decision. That was my weakness as a Sith, I always followed my heart. Following your heart is something that the Jedi encouraged. I was glad to know that I could follow my heart and that it would not be wrong to the Jedi.

I was glad I had followed my heart this time, but all of the sudden I felt a great pain in my side, I was wounded, badly. One of the lessons that my Master always was watching me to make sure I was doing and that is show, no pain to the enemy.

Luke was a good man I found, when he realized that I was hurt, he took me to the med-driod, so that I could be bandaged and cared for. This had never happened to me before, first me helping a Jedi, then a Jedi helping me. This was strange.

The droid said that I would take some time to heal and that it would be best if I stayed there until I healed. I was afraid that my Master would find out about me not killing Luke, but I couldn't, it was impossible to me.

I stayed there for a few days, Like would check on me from time to time, I was afraid that he was trying to keep an eye on me.

One day Luke came to check on me, and sat down, and asked me if I was a trained Sith, I was afraid to tell him that I was, but he had taken good care of me and was worthy of the truth so, I decided to tell him the truth. I was a Sith I told him, but that the Sith never fulfilled the needs or longing that I had.

He asked my name and I told him that it was Sacall Mohnaay. I was afraid that he was trying to get information from me, to be able to find my Master. I was afraid that he was going to trace my name to Master Elsar, that would be the end of me.

Luke was a nice person no doubt, but I was a Sith and he was a Jedi, how could that work out?

He asked what I meant when I said that the Sith did not fulfill the longings I had. I was shocked at the way he asked this question, there was no way he could understand. I told him that I was not ready to kill every Jedi that is within my path. I was not ready to kill and hate. I was ready to let people live and to love someone.

I could not speak when he asked if I wanted to be a Jedi. I was so shocked, I had never thought of any of those things, but he told me that if I became a Jedi, that I could fulfill my longings with a friend. I had never had a friend before, It was so strange I had never even thought of having a friend.

I was ready to say that I could not betray my Master, but then I thought of all the ways that I could live and love, so I said that I would take some time to consider it and would get back to him as soon as I was sure of my decision. He said that he would hold to that.

That night I was thinking about all the things that could change if I decided to be a Jedi. I was thinking about Master Elsar Katarn. How I would kill all the Jedi that he wanted me to. If I continued to be a Sith, I would have to kill Luke and many other Jedi. Finally after much thought I decided to become a Jedi, there would be much change in a good way, but there would also be some bad things.

Luke Skywalker came in the morning and asked how I was feeling and I said that, I was good and that I had made my decision to be a Jedi, but from now on he would have to call me by the name that my parents had given me, Mara Jade. I was proud to be the person that I always wanted to be, to see the things I wanted to see, to love the way I always wanted to love, to be free the way I always wanted to be free. I was free, I was Mara Jade now, I was not a Sith I was a Jedi.

Sacall Mohnaay no longer lived, Mara Jade took her place, and tomorrow I was to begin my training.

I was trained as a Jedi and lived as a Jedi, I fell in love with Luke Skywalker and became Mara Jade Skywalker. I have 2 children. I lived for and love all the Jedi, I had a friend that I wanted, I was free, I had found a way to live at the end of my life, I live now with Luke Skywalker and my 2 children and I love them all.

Please tell me what you thought. I was looking forward to writing this story. I play Star Wars with my 16 year old brother, and he was Elsar Katarn and I was Sacall Mohnaay, we would play sith and he would teach me, and that inspired this story.

Sacall


End file.
